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So far Marie Chapian has created 35 blog entries.

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #10. “What’s wrong with you?”

I had a patient tell me that his mother hotly demanded this of him this so often he began to believe there really was something deeply wrong with him. It took years for him to work through the misbelief that he was somehow inherently mentally and emotionally impaired. I suggest you never use this statement. It's a demeaning and demoralizing accusation, not a question. Instead [...]

By | 2017-02-18T16:36:38-08:00 October 24th, 2015|Categories: Blog|0 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #9. “Well, at least I never – “

You never? Uh huh. This phrase is a way to shift attention from yourself, your foibles and faults by pointing out the mistake(s) of someone else. When you appraise the sin levels of others you're only making a selfish attempt to feel better about yourself. It smacks of pride. Instead, the beautiful words, "I'm sorry" will go a long way. Before moralizing and boasting, it's [...]

By | 2017-02-18T16:36:38-08:00 October 17th, 2015|Categories: Blog|0 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #8. “It’s up to you.” or “Whatever you want.”

These are comments of indifference. It's like saying you could care less. Instead you might ask some thought-provoking questions like, "What is most important to you in this situation?" "How would such-and-such decision make a difference in your life?" Ask questions to make the people probe themselves. This shows in a caring way that the solutions to their questions are within them. I could have [...]

By | 2017-02-18T16:36:38-08:00 October 10th, 2015|Categories: Blog|0 Comments


Hi to all the fabulous people who attended Discover Your Creativity workshop at Point Loma Presbyterian Community Church. Here’s your questionnaire. You have your score sheets, and if you didn’t get one, email me (using the Contact menu) and I’ll send it to you. It was great fun being with you. Keep your creative energy flowing! Connect with me on Facebook & Twitter, Marie

Download Test Here

By | 2017-02-18T16:36:38-08:00 October 5th, 2015|Categories: Event|0 Comments


How to Be Happy in an Unhappy World unveils the secret to finding and maintaining true happiness--you. Based on solid biblical principles and the most up-to-date scientific brain research, this book unlocks the door to freedom from depression, anxiety, frustration, and despair. It includes revealing self-discovery questions, short quizzes, and practical how-to lists that will enable you to discover an inner radiance and happiness that cannot be extinguished.

By | 2017-02-18T16:36:38-08:00 October 5th, 2015|Categories: Books, Event|0 Comments


This is such a popular phrase, what could be wrong with it? But you can do better than that. It's glib and impersonal if you're talking to someone you know and care about. Instead say, "I know you have what it takes." Isn't that much more encouraging? I believe the key is discernment. Discernment with genuine thoughtfulness: we can't go wrong with those two. Add [...]

By | 2017-02-18T16:36:38-08:00 October 3rd, 2015|Categories: Blog|0 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #6. “As I said before. . .” or “We’ve had this conversation before.”

These phrases can be off-putting because they're indicating someone's really stupid for not remembering something that was said earlier. Why not be diplomatic and say what you have to say in an interesting new way? Say it new! Also, consider that perhaps the issue you're referring to wasn't resolved and needs more discussion. I could have added more to this list – but I thought [...]

By | 2017-02-18T16:36:39-08:00 September 26th, 2015|Categories: Blog|0 Comments