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IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #10. “What’s wrong with you?”

I had a patient tell me that his mother hotly demanded this of him this so often he began to believe there really was something deeply wrong with him. It took years for him to work through the misbelief that he was somehow inherently mentally and [...]

By | October 24th, 2015|Categories: Blog|77 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #9. “Well, at least I never – “

You never? Uh huh. This phrase is a way to shift attention from yourself, your foibles and faults by pointing out the mistake(s) of someone else. When you appraise the sin levels of others you're only making a selfish attempt to feel better about yourself. It [...]

By | October 17th, 2015|Categories: Blog|100 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #8. “It’s up to you.” or “Whatever you want.”

These are comments of indifference. It's like saying you could care less. Instead you might ask some thought-provoking questions like, "What is most important to you in this situation?" "How would such-and-such decision make a difference in your life?" Ask questions to make the people probe [...]

By | October 10th, 2015|Categories: Blog|392 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #7. “Good luck”

This is such a popular phrase, what could be wrong with it? But you can do better than that. It's glib and impersonal if you're talking to someone you know and care about. Instead say, "I know you have what it takes." Isn't that much more [...]

By | October 3rd, 2015|Categories: Blog|50 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #6. “As I said before. . .” or “We’ve had this conversation before.”

These phrases can be off-putting because they're indicating someone's really stupid for not remembering something that was said earlier. Why not be diplomatic and say what you have to say in an interesting new way? Say it new! Also, consider that perhaps the issue you're referring [...]

By | September 26th, 2015|Categories: Blog|105 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #5 “You look great for your age.”

This is a biggie. Never, ever say this. It's saying someone of whatever age they're at are at death's door or somehow total wrecks. Using the qualifier, "for your anything" is so condescending it hurts. No one wants to be smart for a plumber, or pretty [...]

By | September 19th, 2015|Categories: Blog|260 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #4 “You always … or you never.”

Nobody always or never does anything. People aren't one-dimensional, so it's not a good thing to define them by "always" and "never." These phrases are guaranteed to make someone defensive and closed off to what you want to say. Instead simply point out what the other [...]

By | September 12th, 2015|Categories: Blog|446 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #3 “You were too good for him anyway.”

Ouch. This implies the person who has just severed a relationship, personal or business, has awful taste and made a stupid choice in the first place. Instead, make a comment like, "His loss!" This provides support and optimism without any implied criticism. I could have added [...]

By | September 5th, 2015|Categories: Blog|249 Comments

IF I COULD SAY IT OVER AGAIN #2 THE “WOW YOU LOST A TON OF WEIGHT!”

Sounds like a compliment, I know, but it could create the impression that the person used to be really fat or unattractive. Better to say, "Wow, you look fantastic!" That way you're not commenting on how the person used to look and you're taking the past [...]

By | August 28th, 2015|Categories: Blog|468 Comments

North Coast Repertory Theatre Solana Beach CA Painting in Exhibition to celebrate new production of “Ain’t Misbehavin”

Herbert T. Turner Gallery, Del Mar, CA 4 paintings of my paintings are in the exhibition Opening Reception July 23 1-5 PM

By | July 14th, 2016|Categories: Event, News|455 Comments

July 4: Look What I won at the Del Mar Fair! It’s a ribbon and award from the California Center for the Arts in Escondido, CA for my large collage (hundreds of small acrylic painted pieces) acrylic painting: “Embraced in Wonderland.” SOLD.

Look What I won at the Del Mar Fair! It’s a ribbon and award from the California  Center for the Arts in Escondido, CA for my large collage (hundreds of small acrylic painted pieces) acrylic painting: “Embraced in Wonderland.” SOLD.

By | July 14th, 2016|Categories: Event, News|343 Comments

Herbert T. Turner Gallery, Del Mar, CA 4 paintings of my paintings are in the exhibition Opening Reception July 23 1-5 PM

Herbert T. Turner Gallery, Del Mar, CA 4 paintings of my paintings are in the exhibition Opening Reception July 23 1-5 PM

By | July 14th, 2016|Categories: Event, News|141 Comments

Marie Chapian Receives People’s Choice Award

This photo and story appeared in the Del Mar Times this week. I was really blessed to receive the People’s Choice Award for my painting in the SAG group exhibition at the Turner Gallery. The County Supervisor,Dave Roberts presented the award. Over 200 people were in attendance making it a fun experience for artists and spectators alike.

By | July 14th, 2016|Categories: Event, News|39 Comments